A Story That Will Challenge The Way You Measure Success
A Story That Will Challenge The Way You Measure Success
Nine months.
Not all that long, is it?
Especially when you've lived almost 40 years, how much impact can nine months make?
Still, nine months can sometimes be as indelible as a tattoo. Especially when it is printed on your heart.
In 2011, I spent 9 months playing professional basketball in Greece. While I was there, Greek culture and the people I came to consider family taught me more about life in those 9 months than almost any other time in my life.
One of those life lessons that I return to in my mind over and over again came in the form of a story shared by my head coach, Alex.
“You know the difference between being joyful and stressed?” Alex asked. “The wealthy dream is that of constant work and stress, while the joyful dream is that of enjoyment and peace. I will tell you a story that I heard. While it may not be true, I think it serves to get the point across of what people want out of their life. There is no right or wrong, but each person must decide for themselves what they want.”
Eager to hear what he was about to share, I leaned forward in my seat as much as the seatbelt would allow.
“There was an elderly fisherman lying on the beach after his day of work was over,” Alex continued. “Satisfied with his work he put in for the day, he sat underneath a tree while he listened to the waves and prayed with gratitude. His small fishing boat was anchored on the shore with his catch of the day, freshly gutted and ready to sell. He made his living off the sea and made just enough to feed himself and his family and to live comfortably each month. With the understanding that the sea would always provide, he was never stressed or worried about the fear of lack.
“Off in the distance, he could see a large ship approaching the dock. It wasn’t a ship he had ever seen before, and he knew it wasn’t local. He continued watching from a distance as he saw many men exit the ship. He then saw one man who seemed to be in charge, giving orders to the others. As this man walked off the ship, he noticed the old fisherman laying on the beach and took an interest in him and the small fishing boat that floated alongside him. He made his way over to the man, and they began talking.
“The young man introduced himself and said that he was from a different country, working on expanding his business into the European countries to be a global business. The old fisherman listened to the young fisherman talk about his successes he had accomplished in his young life as he continued to brag about himself.
“Then the young man offered the old fisherman a job to work for him and his company. He told the fisherman that he could make him wealthy beyond his wildest dreams. ‘You can own an entire fleet of ships for yourself and then retire in the future and lay on the beach for the rest of your days!’
“The old fisherman replied, ‘What does it look like I’m doing now? I don’t need to own an entire fleet of fishing boats to enjoy life. I have the luxury of sitting on this beach every day after a meaningful day of work. I have all I need, young man. I have lived my days and seen the greed take over many of my friends. If I have any advice for you, it would be to slow down and enjoy life. Don’t get so caught up with the luxuries of what the future has in store for you that you forget to live for today. Tomorrow may never come. Enjoy what life brings you today, in this moment, for you only get it once. There will always be opportunity to make money. Time, however, can never be gained once it’s lost. You only die once. You live every day.’”
I sat back and let that story sink into my mind for the ride’s entirety. Even if the story wasn’t true, the lesson it brought was true enough for me. I vowed to myself then and there that I would never allow the pursuit of money to rule my life.
— Excerpt from my book A Mindful Journey: An Adventure of Discovery & Transformation
Mental Lesson: Enough is Plenty
I have thought about that story many times since my time in Greece. If I am being honest, I have been the young man more often than I would like to admit.
If you are ambitious, if you are driven, you always want more. You want to win more games, earn more, sell more, book more, do more, achieve more. I know that feeling well. Drive is a big part of what got you to where you are today, and I would never ask you to give it up.
Wanting more also comes with a cost.
Seneca, the Stoic philosopher, wrote about this nearly two thousand years ago. He believed the poor man is the one who always craves more, no matter how much he already has. He said the proper limit to wealth is "first, to have what is necessary, and, second, to have what is enough."
There will always be someone who has done more than you. They won more, sold more, or built more, and next to theirs your accomplishments can look small. If you let that comparison make you feel small, you are stealing from yourself. You are taking away the reality of the success you have already earned.
You could succeed beyond your wildest dreams and still feel miserable, still feel insecure, still feel inferior. To me, that is one of the saddest things in sport and in life.
I wrote about this in How to Measure Growth. Dan Sullivan calls it The Gap and the Gain. When we measure ourselves against the ideal, the person we wish we were, we live in The Gap. That ideal keeps moving, so we never arrive. When we measure ourselves against who we used to be, we live in The Gain, and we finally see how far we have come.
The young man in Alex’s story lived in The Gap. He had a ship, a crew, and plenty of success in his young life, and still he never seemed to have enough. The old fisherman lived in The Gain. He knew what enough was for him, and because he knew, he had peace.
Enough is plenty.
Next Rep: The Moving Goal Post
What are you waiting to achieve before you let yourself enjoy the life you already have?
Maybe it’s a championship. Maybe it’s a certain number of books sold, or a certain salary. Whatever it is, picture the day you finally reach it. Once you get there, what’s to say you won’t immediately move the goal post again?
If you can’t enjoy today, will you be able to enjoy tomorrow?
Final Buzzer
Somewhere along the way, most of us became the young man. We tell ourselves we will slow down and enjoy life after the next win, the next promotion, the next accolade, achievement, or success that we have defined for ourselves.
One day, you will look back on this exact season of your life and wish you had enjoyed it more.
The tide brings today in exactly once.
Some believe you only live once.
I am not of that faith.
You only die once.
You live every day.
It's not a Day in your Life.
It's a Life in your Day.
Challenging you head-on and always in your corner,
— Coach VJ
This is the work I bring into locker rooms, boardrooms, and team environments.
If you’re looking to bring a mental performance message on confidence, pressure, and belief to your team or organization, you can connect with me here.
Check out my speaker tour dates here.
I also offer 1-on-1 mental performance coaching. You can learn more or book a conversation here.
Comments