Everyone Needs These Three People In Their Life
Everyone Needs These Three People In Their Life
“Every person needs these three people in their life: someone to teach them, someone to challenge them, and someone to believe in them. And if you can find somebody with all three of those for you, you have found someone magical.
And if you can be that person with all three for someone else, you have become the magic.”
I posted this video two weeks ago, and it is the first video of mine to go viral. As I write this, it’s sitting at 3.1 million views. It’s been difficult to keep up with the comment section, but I noticed a pattern. Most people found encouragement in the video. They named their magical person, or became inspired to become the magic for those they lead.
And then came the other types of comments.
“I have no one in my life in any of those categories; however, I’m all 3 to everyone.”
“That doesn’t exist.”
“I am magic. . . but nobody believes in magic.”
“Maybe you need those three people in your life. I don’t!”
“Why does she pretend like she’s actually speaking to an audience?”
Every video that travels that far collects its haters. I expected that part. Whenever I get negative comments or even hate on the internet, I do my best to look past the hate and toward the pain. Hate is the shadow. Pain is what’s casting it. And pain is where most origin stories begin.
Mental Lesson: Hero or Villain?
Every hero and every villain has an origin story. Pick your favorite hero or your most despised villain. Somewhere early in the story, there’s a trial, a loss, a betrayal, a time when they got knocked to their knees and hit rock bottom. Adversity showed up for both of them and stole the light from their lives.
We’ve all had a blindside moment. The phone call that shatters your heart. The doctor who asks you to sit down. The career you built your identity around, ending in one afternoon. One minute your life is running on schedule, and the next thing you know, the lights go out, and you’re sitting in the dark, trying to find your footing. Then there comes a moment, sitting in that dark, where you decide whether you’re getting up and what you’re getting up for.
When we’re in that dark space, it changes us. Darkness works on us the way a darkroom works on a photograph. Whatever we hold onto in there becomes the image we carry back out.
For some, it becomes a light they carry for themselves and everyone they come in contact with.
For others, it becomes a shadow they cast on everyone around them.
The hero comes through that adversity, sometimes triumphant, sometimes bruised and battered, barely standing. Once the hero gets to the other side of that adversity, they make a decision:
I know exactly what that pain cost me. I’ll make the world a better place by making sure nobody feels the same pain I did.
So the hero turns around and reaches back, like someone who lit their torch and stretches back into the dark to light the next one. They teach what they learned, what to avoid, and challenge others on how to be better. They believe in what others can be and support them through hardships and tribulations as they reach that potential.
The villain goes through the same kind of trial. Battered and bruised all the same, but they come to a different conclusion:
I know exactly what that pain cost me. Now the world will feel it too.Adversity often writes the first chapter of your origin story. You write the second.
We all inevitably face adversity in our lives, and not all of us are fortunate enough to be surrounded by magical people. After you come out of your own darkness, when the lights come back on, and you come through your adversity, who do you become?
The hero writes that chapter by teaching, challenging, and believing. The villain writes it by handing the pain down the line. The hero ignites the fire for the next person. The villain makes sure to always extinguish the flame.
So, when you step out of your darkness and into the light, do you become the hero? Or the villain?
Final Buzzer
The magic lives in everyone who came through their own dark time and decided to reach back.
Some of you found your magical person. Tell them what they've meant to you.
Some of you are still waiting. Choose to be the hero in your own story.
Every time you teach someone what the dark taught you, a light comes on.
Every time you challenge someone to get back up, a light comes on.
Every time you believe in someone who stopped believing in themselves, a light comes on.
One person. One room. One light at a time. Be the person you needed when the lights went out.
Be the magic.
Challenging you head-on and always in your corner,
— Coach VJ
This is the work I bring into locker rooms, boardrooms, and team environments.
If you’re looking to bring a mental performance message on confidence, pressure, and belief to your team or organization, you can connect with me here.
Check out my speaker tour dates here.
I also offer 1-on-1 mental performance coaching. You can learn more or book a conversation here.
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